Leading with Compassion
An opportunity to Transform Business, Education, and Society
By Hooria Jazaieri PH.D.
Assistant Professor of Management
Leavey School of Business
Santa Clara University
Leading with Compassion
“The future of humankind isn’t exclusively in the hands of politicians, of great leaders, of big companies…. But the future is, most of all, in the hands of those people who recognize the other as a ‘you’ and themselves as part of an ‘us.’ We all need each other.” —Pope Francis (TED2017)1
Beyond excellence, “the Jesuit University in Silicon Valley” strives to create the conditions for human flourishing and a just and humane world for all. At Santa Clara University, the “three C’s” of competence, conscience, and compassion represent the core values and tenets that we expect all members of our community to embody.
First, competence refers to the value of encouraging members to acquire broad knowledge, adopt a curious growth mindset, and continue the pursuit of wisdom. Conscience refers to the value of behaving ethically in all that we do, discerning what is right from wrong, and having a genuine commitment to issues of social justice, both locally and globally. Finally, compassion refers to the value of noticing suffering, feeling moved by suffering, wishing for the relief of suffering, and having a motivation or readiness to take action to relieve suffering. These three C’s represent interrelated values that are part of our identity and the cornerstone of our culture at Santa Clara University.
Being a Jesuit institution of higher education, where we are guided by the Catholic and Jesuit intellectual traditions, competence and conscience are values that are naturally and somewhat easily tended to, with compassion often being a bit overlooked. This lack of attention to compassion is not unique to SCU, as Pope Francis recently said: “In our technological and individualistic culture, compassion is not always considered well; at times, it is even regarded with disdain.”2
Given the heaviness that can be associated with compassion (i.e., suffering), it is no wonder why people attempt to avoid this topic altogether, favoring more lighthearted topics such as the weather, weekend plans, or favorite TV shows. Regardless of our own personal desire (or lack thereof ) to acknowledge suffering, it is inevitably part of all our lives. In this article, I argue for the importance of compassion by exploring the topic of compassionate leadership. If we have the courage to be compassionate leaders, we have the opportunity to transform business, education, and society, and solve some of the most pressing problems of our time.
Jazzy Benes
What Is Compassion and Why Is It Essential to Effective Leadership?
Compassion is not just a popular Northern California buzzword, a “super power” or a “quiet power.” It is a state that can be enacted in all of our daily lives, if we choose. Can you imagine a workplace, school, and society where compassion is at the forefront? While on the surface this may seem purely aspirational, everyone—regardless of their age, personality traits, formal education, or job title—has the capacity to not only be a leader, but to lead with compassion. Cultivating the skills to actually lead with compassion is where the challenge, and opportunity, exist. Compassion provides leaders with several key skills that are crucial to effective leadership.
First, leading with compassion allows leaders to tap into an awareness, or an opening that recognizes that suffering exists—and not just in the abstract, but specifically in this very moment. Everyone you interact with has experienced, is experiencing, and will experience some form of suffering in their lives. Whether we choose to acknowledge this or not, suffering is always all around us. Often, we are so consumed by our self-focused attention on our own goals and objectives that we forget people on the receiving end of our emails, one-on-one meetings, and companywide “all hands” meetings experience suffering. We also often forget that, as leaders, we too experience suffering in our personal and professional lives. Importantly, part of what connects us to each other is that we all experience suffering. Nine-time NBA champion and current Golden State Warriors coach Steve Kerr, who considers compassion to be one of his four core values (the others being joy, competition, and mindfulness), states: “Compassion starts with understanding that everyone, from superstar Steph Curry down to the last player on the bench, is probably dealing with something. It’s critical that we all acknowledge that while the nature of the adversity or struggle may differ somewhat, at the root level it’s still about vulnerability and shared human experience.”3 One of my favorite questions to better tap into an awareness of others’ suffering is to ask people I encounter: “Tell me about your day.” Carefully listening to what is said, and unsaid, in response to this question often reveals ordinary and profound suffering.
Ineffective leadership exists when we are not willing to see the suffering (our own and others’) that is right in front of us. Where does this aversion to acknowledging suffering come from? Perhaps this avoidance occurs from a place of fear (e.g., if I acknowledge that there is suffering, might I actually have to do something about it? Or, might acknowledging that there is suffering create a contagion effect or impede the “good vibes” we often strive for?). Perhaps this avoidance of suffering occurs from a place of guilt (e.g., what if I have contributed to another’s suffering in a way that violates my own moral code?), or perhaps simply from a place of not caring about the people around us beyond what they can do for us and the bottom line. On the other hand, when leaders operate from the basic assumption that all beings—regardless of their specific circumstances—experience suffering throughout their lives, this allows for compassion to exist. Compassion allows us to acknowledge the humanity in others, which ultimately allows us to get in touch with our own humanity, and our basic instinct to care.
Next, from this place of awareness, we can allow ourselves to feel our emotions regarding suffering. While seemingly simple, at times when we notice suffering— our own and others’—we dismiss, discount, suppress, and minimize it, which prevents us from experiencing the (adaptive) affective states associated with suffering. How does it feel to think about the fact that those you lead and care about are experiencing suffering? What emotions arise within you as you consider this?
For me, I often feel sadness and a sense of concern when thinking about the suffering of those around me. Leaders often shy away from feeling and expressing negative emotions that are present, opting to avoid the elephant in the room. However, whether acknowledged or not, these negative emotions are indeed a part of all of our lives. What is being communicated to others when a leader refuses to acknowledge the negative emotions that are present? There is no evidence to suggest that by not acknowledging suffering it will suddenly go away; in fact, data on emotional suppression4 and ironic process theory5 suggest just the opposite. Put simply, avoidance and suppression of negative thoughts and emotions does not work, yet many leaders continue down this futile path.
Leaders are powerful role models—people often look to them for implicit and explicit cues on how to behave and what is appropriate to share. Thus, leaders who choose to lead with compassion are willing to acknowledge and share in both the joyful moments as well as the moments of difficulty and despair. Paradoxically, acknowledging these negative emotions can create opportunities for authentic connections to form and a foundation for trust to develop; however, we must be willing to allow ourselves to feel these emotions and care for others.
When we allow ourselves to feel whatever arises within us as we acknowledge suffering, it opens the door for compassionate intentions—a place where we can generate a wish to see the relief of suffering. Compassion extends beyond ordinary empathy of acknowledging and feeling moved by suffering to also include an intention to see the relief of suffering.
Compassionate leaders see suffering, feel moved by suffering, and cultivate a wish for suffering to cease. As author and meditation teacher Jack Kornfield often says, our intention is like “setting the compass of our hearts.” Effective leadership requires a reliable compass to help navigate through trying times and rough waters. A leader’s intention guides not only their behavior, but also the behavior of others. This has inevitable consequences for subsequent actions.
Intentions can certainly be aspirational in nature. In order to uncover one’s intentions, leaders can ask themselves questions such as: What is my aspiration in this moment for myself and others? What is it that I wish for myself and others? What is my deepest hope for these people I am leading? For me, at the broadest level, my intention when interacting with others is often simply that they (and myself ) may be content and free from the causes of suffering. For specific people I am leading, such as my students, an intention I often set before each class is that they may be at ease and feel valued and courageous.
When we set our intentions, or our highest aspirations for ourselves and others, we are readying ourselves to take action. Compassionate leaders ask themselves questions such as: What can I do to help alleviate suffering in this moment? Am I motivated to take action to help others who are suffering? Is my motivation to take action primarily about my own discomfort in this situation, or do I truly want to help alleviate suffering in others?
Compassionate leaders are mindful of when their behaviors may be inadvertently or purposefully contributing to the causes of others’ suffering (e.g., when a leader engages in behaviors that might alleviate suffering for one person but cause suffering for others, or when the leader’s interpretation of what is needed to alleviate suffering does not match the needs of the person(s) suffering). In these cases, leaders are noticing the motivation to help while at the same time zooming out and taking in the larger landscape of the situation. Compassion is not aimless but is guided by a deep-seeded purpose to alleviate suffering in oneself and others.
While counterintuitive, at times the most compassionate thing a leader can do is not give a person what they are asking for. This is especially important when the request will be to the detriment of the person’s (or another’s) short-term or longterm health, well-being, or goals. As a professor, I experience this nearly every time I teach a course and a student asks for a grade change. While I can acknowledge the student’s experience of suffering, feel sad that the student is distressed, wish that the student did not feel badly about themselves, their grade, me, or the course, and sincerely want to help alleviate the student’s distress, I still do not give what is requested (a grade change). A grade change for one student would inevitably create suffering for my other students who were not granted a similar grade change, and would also create suffering for myself for going against my stated course policy and my ethical code of treating students equally. Instead of a grade change, I may offer something else in an attempt to help alleviate some of the student’s suffering (e.g., my undivided and nonjudgmental attention; campus resources; suggestions for cognitive reappraisal, emotion regulation, distress tolerance, and problemsolving, to name a few).
Additionally, we can indeed experience compassion (i.e., cognitive awareness of suffering, affective response to suffering, intention for the relief of suffering, and motivation to take action) without necessarily engaging in an outward compassionate behavior or action. My research from my doctoral work at UC Berkeley found in a daily experience sampling study with adults across the United States that it is closer to a 3:1 ratio of experiencing compassion and outwardly engaging in compassionate behavior.6 One perspective on this finding is that the experience of compassion may “prime the pump” for future compassionate behavior. In other words, experiencing compassion can indeed translate to engaging in compassionate behaviors, but there may be some discernment required as this does not appear to be a 1:1 occurrence. Thus, while compassion is ideally a “verb” as Thich Nhat Hanh describes, this is not always the case.
In sum, these four components of compassion (cognitive, affective, intentional, and motivational) create a strong foundation for leading with compassion in business, education, and society. While in the interest of brevity I have not gone into what compassion is not, I7—along with many others—have written extensively about this. In short, conceptually and empirically (even at the neural level8) compassion can be differentiated from related, other-oriented constructs such as empathy, sympathy, pity, personal distress, love, prosociality, altruism, well-wishing, kindness, and so on. The term compassion is often loosely used in everyday vernacular when referring to other constructs (e.g., being “nice” or “kind”). However, compassion is not to be confused with the avoidance of difficult conversations, difficult feedback, or conflict. From religious figures such as His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Roshi Joan Halifax to business executives such as GE’s Jack Welch and LinkedIn’s Jeff Weiner, the notion of “fierce compassion,” or having the courage to confront difficult situations, can be the most compassionate thing to do in a moment. As Halifax describes: “Compassion has many faces. Some of them are fierce; some of them are wrathful; some of them are tender; some of them are wise.”9 Compassion is not about turning the other way to avoid discomfort; compassion is really about the courage to turn toward and confront discomfort, and more specifically, suffering.
Jen Norton, Guadalupe, 2017.
Leading with Compassion in Business, Education, and Society
All too often, modern society can be toxic, volatile, uncertain, complex, and ambiguous, which inevitably gives rise to suffering and challenges our basic instinct to care. When considering the workplace in particular, on average, we spend about a third of our lives at work, which unfortunately for many can be a life-draining rather than life-giving experience. Encouragingly though, the business case for compassion at work has been clearly established. In short, at the individual and organizational level, extraordinary things can happen when compassion exists in organizations.10 With compassionate leaders, business can indeed be a source of good that gives rise to human flourishing.
While the empirical research is clear about the benefits of compassion in the workplace, the question still remains: Are organizations, and more specifically the leaders within these organizations, willing to intentionally create a culture of compassion that is woven into the fabric of the organization and permeates through all of its levels? While “organizational compassion” (i.e., “when members of a system collectively notice, feel, and respond to pain experienced by members of that system”11) is ideal, organizations are ultimately comprised of individuals who can choose to be compassionate at any point in time. In fact, an individual’s compassionate response can become coordinated to eventually become “compassion organizing” (i.e., “when individuals in organizations notice, feel, and respond to human pain in a coordinated way.”12) So, how can individuals lead with compassion?
While we all are born with the capacity to care and be compassionate, at times, for various reasons, our compassion muscle atrophies and must be strengthened through intentional practices meant to cultivate and strengthen compassion. In my experience, one of the most powerful tools for bringing compassion into business, classrooms, and society is by actually modeling it, not simply talking about it or meditating on it (though this can help tremendously13). In essence, those who speak about compassion and espouse the value of compassion need to actually be compassionate.
As I tell my students in the compassion course that I teach, it is not sufficient to simply be compassionate for 30 minutes a day while meditating and then walk through the rest of the day with indifference. Similarly, it is not sufficient to have values of compassion posted on a wall or on a website and not actually enact compassion in practice. As leaders, we must be willing to lead through our daily actions. Leaders, akin to a professional athlete, must be willing to continually train their mind, body, and spirit to choose compassionate thoughts and actions, particularly when it is difficult to do so. Leaders are powerful influencers of culture, and therefore have an imperative to take this responsibility seriously.
So, what does enacting compassion look like? While it can be tempting to look outward and observe others’ behaviors we deem not compassionate, it can be most useful to look inward and identify what compassion looks like for each of us—and how we can cultivate compassionate thoughts and behaviors in our lives. What do you do, or not do, when you are leading compassionately? What kind of thoughts do you have about yourself and others? After all, our thoughts influence our emotions and behaviors. What does compassion feel like for you in your physical body? For me, I try to map out what compassion (and lack thereof ) looks like in contexts that challenge me to be compassionate toward others (e.g., when I have the thought that my time is being wasted, or when another’s behaviors do not match my own moral and ethical code) and toward myself (e.g., when I have forgotten to do something, or when I do not meet the goals or standards I have set for myself ). I invite you to see if you can map out what compassion looks like for you in various contexts of your life, and then work on actually modeling compassion across these contexts. Easier said than done, but with practice, we can increase the likelihood of being compassionate even in the most difficult experiences.
Compassion is not a narrow, one-way street. It benefits those enacting it, those receiving it, and those observing compassion unfolding around them. Elsewhere, I have written about bringing compassion to students in educational settings, from preschool through graduate school (PK–20).7 While the focus is often on teaching our students how they can be compassionate (a valid endeavor), it is equally important, and some may argue more important, for educators to simply model compassion toward their students. For example, one of my favorite research studies came out while I was a graduate student in the Counseling Psychology program at SCU and studying to become a licensed psychotherapist. The study showed that when a therapist had a regular meditation practice unbeknownst to their patients (who did not meditate), the patients actually had better treatment outcomes compared to the patients who were treated by non-meditating therapists.14 While I already had an established meditation practice at that time (having discovered meditation by accident my junior year of college), it reinforced the notion that what we do, even in private, can powerfully influence others. Rather than talking about compassion or trying to get others to value compassion, we can simply practice compassion in our daily lives knowing it has the potential to positively influence others who encounter us.
One way I like to think about modeling compassion is from the vantage of viewing the people in our workplaces, classrooms, and neighborhoods as special guests at the coveted chef ’s table in a Michelinstarred restaurant. It is from this table that these special guests see how the chef works and moves in the kitchen. How does the chef speak? How does the chef interact with others? How does the chef treat the ingredients and equipment? What does the chef permit to go out to the guests and what needs to be reworked? How do these guests feel when the chef presents their courses to them? What does the chef ultimately choose to put on the menu and serve to these most special guests? As leaders, we are chefs— what kinds of experiences are we creating for all those seated at our table?
Compassionate leadership is consistent with cura personalis, or treating each person we encounter as worthy of our attention, care, and respect for their uniqueness of mind, body, and spirit. If we are to take cura personalis seriously, it means truly treating each person that we encounter in our lives in this way, as our most special guest—or as Barry-Wehmiller CEO Bob Chapman often says, “treating everybody as someone’s precious child.”15 Theologian and author Kevin O’Brien, S.J., similarly suggests viewing classrooms, and perhaps even our neighborhoods and workplaces, as “holy ground”16—contexts where we have the opportunity to witness and demonstrate humanity.
Perhaps you already have clarity around what leading compassionately looks like for you; however, it can be helpful to have compassion role models, or those who embody the qualities of compassion for you, while at the same time striving to be a compassion role model for others. Compassion role models can help us identify compassionate behaviors we aspire to demonstrate in our own lives. These role models can be people you have heard or read about (e.g., Mother Theresa) and can also be more local compassion role models. Two of my compassion role models, Professors Monica Worline and Jane Dutton from the Center for Positive Organizations at the University of Michigan’s Ross School of Business, regularly invite people to “put their humanity on display,” and both are masterful at demonstrating this quality themselves with everyone they encounter. Monica and Jane serve as compassion role models for me and are people I aspire to be more like. What are some qualities of compassion that you value? Who are the people in your life who demonstrate these qualities? How can you model these qualities of compassion in your life? How can you remind yourself to actually be compassionate?
You (yes, you!) are uniquely positioned to help solve mmany of the pressing problems facing the world, and at a minimum, cease contributing to them. When we are willing to demonstrate compassionate thoughts and behaviors in our own lives, we are able to transcend the typical barriers that inhibit community, connection, and care. Through compassion, we can move from our individualistic tendencies to acknowledging the needs of others. By bringing compassion to the forefront of our lives, we can create a new way of being in business, education, and society—and together, we can transform the world. Compassionate leaders refuse to remain silent about the old ways of doing things that contribute to suffering and seek to inject dignity back into all aspects of society. Compassion is the not-so-secret ingredient that allows people to thrive, even in the most difficult of circumstances. I hope you have the courage to be a compassionate leader and a compassion role model.
The world is depending on us.
Hooria Jazaieri Ph.D. is an assistant professor of management at the Leavey School of Business at Santa Clara University. Her research focuses on emotions at work— compassion, gratitude, hope, and joy—and the consequences of emotion and emotion regulation on individual, dyadic, and organizational outcomes. She also studies individual reputation, namely how people gain, lose, and recover their reputations, and how reputational information is stored and communicated in networks. Her research has been published in leading academic journals in the fields of management and psychology. She was recently named by Poets&Quants as one of the top business school professors in the nation.
Recommended Reading
Jazaieri, H. & Rock, M. (2021). Putting Compassion to Work: Compassion as a Tool for Navigating Challenging Workplace Relationships. Mindfulness. doi: 10.1007/s12671-021-01695-5
Jinpa, T. (2015). A Fearless Heart: How the Courage To Be Compassionate Can Transform Our Lives. New York, NY: Hudson Street Press.
Seppälä, E. M., Simon-Thomas, E., Brown, S. L., Worline, M. C., Cameron, C. D., & Doty, J. R. (Eds.). (2017). The Oxford Handbook of Compassion Science. New York: Oxford University Press.
Worline, M., & Dutton, J. E. (2017). Awakening Compassion at Work. Oakland, CA: Berrett-Koehler Publisher
Notes
1 Francis, P. (2017). Why the only future worth building includes everyone. https://www.ted.com/talks/his_holiness_ pope_francis_why_the_only_future_worth_building_ includes_everyone
2 Pope Francis (09 June 2016). The Pope to doctors in Spain and Latin America: compassion is the very soul of medicine. Summary of Bulletin. (press.vatican.va/content/salastampa/en/ bollettino/pubblico/2016/06/09/160609a.html)
3 Gino, F. & Huizinga, J. (2020). Steve Kerr: Coaching the Golden State Warriors to Joy, Compassion, Competition, and Mindfulness. HBS No. 9-921-001. Harvard Business School Publishing.
4 Gross, J. J., & John, O. P. (2003). Individual differences in two emotion regulation processes: implications for affect, relationships, and well-being. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 85, 348-362.
5 Wegner, D. M. (1989). White bears and other unwanted thoughts: Suppression, obsession, and the psychology of mental control. Penguin Press.
6 Jazaieri, H., Simon-Thomas, E., Keltner, D., Mendoza- Denton, R., & Goldin, P. R. (2018). Predicting compassionate behavior: Application, development, and psychometric properties of the Multidimensional Compassion Scale. Unpublished manuscript, University of California, Berkeley, CA.
7 Jazaieri, H. (2018). Compassionate education from preschool to graduate school: Bringing a culture of compassion into the classroom. Journal of Research in Innovative Teaching & Learning, 11, 22-66. doi: 10.1108/JRIT-08-2017-0017
8 Klimecki, O. M., Leiberg, S., Ricard, M., & Singer, T. (2014). Differential pattern of functional brain plasticity after compassion and empathy training. Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience, 9(6), 873-879.
9 Halifax, J. (2010). Compassion and the true meaning of empathy. https://www.ted.com/talks/joan_halifax_ compassion_and_the_true_meaning_of_empathy
10 Worline, M., & Dutton, J. E. (2017). Awakening compassion at work: The quiet power that elevates people and organizations. Oakland, CA: Berrett-Koehler Publishers.
11 Kanov, J. M., Maitlis, S., Worline, M. C., Dutton, J. E., Frost, P. J., & Lilius, J. M. (2004). Compassion in organizational life. American Behavioral Scientist, 47, 808-827. doi: 10.1177/0002764203260211
12 Dutton, J. E., Worline, M. C., Frost, P. J., & Lilius, J. (2006). Explaining compassion organizing. Administrative Science Quarterly, 51, 59-96. doi: 10.2189/asqu.51.1.59
13 Jazaieri, H., Jinpa, G. T., McGonigal, K., Rosenberg, E. L., Finkelstein, J., Simon-Thomas, E., ... & Goldin, P. R. (2013). Enhancing compassion: A randomized controlled trial of a compassion cultivation training program. Journal of Happiness Studies, 14(4), 1113-1126. doi: 10.1007/s10902-012-9373-z
14 Grepmair, L., Mitterlehner, F., Loew, T., Bachler, E., Rother, W., & Nickel, M. (2007). Promoting mindfulness in psychotherapists in training influences the treatment results of their patients: A randomized, double-blind, controlled study. Psychotherapy and Psychosomatics, 76(6), 332-338.
15 Chapman, B. & Sisodia, R. (2015). Everybody Matters: The Extraordinary Power of Caring for Your People Like Family. New York, NY: Penguin.
16 O’Brien, K. (2003). The Classroom as Holy Ground. (americamagazine.org/faith/2003/05/26/classroom-holy-ground)