As Ignatius kept vigil at the shrine of Our Lady of Montserrat in 1522 he was at an inflection point. Having recovered from his wounds suffered at Pamplona and the unnecessary surgeries he endured in the wake of that event, Ignatius still held tight to his privilege and power, wary of a future without the certainties of his past. Despite his time during recovery reflecting on the life of Jesus and the saints, he was still dressed in fine clothes and carrying a sword in the manner of the Spanish aristocrats of his day. He knew the path to a more fulfilling life, but was unwilling to fully live out the inner movements of his soul.

As Fr. Luis Calero, the Rector of the Jesuits at Santa Clara, reminds us, it was in this moment that he was graced with the strength to acknowledge his past failings and commit to a new way of living despite the uncertainty of an uncharted future. This brought him to lay down his sword at the altar of Our Lady and give his fine clothes to a poor man. In their place he took up the simple clothes of the pilgrim and began his life anew. Rather than military glory or riches, he would pursue a life as a companion of Jesus.  

This process of letting go of things which draw us away from our desire to build a more just world is not a single act. Again, Fr. Calero draws our attention to the continuous process of letting go and trusting in a better future. This ongoing process requires us to continually recommit ourselves to following our better natures and trusting those inner movements that call us to justice. Our future is always uncertain. In striving to lay down those things that lead us to think only of ourselves, we can at least be sure that our future will be filled with the graces of a life lived in search of peace and justice.

Questions for reflection:

• Like Fr. Calero, have you ever had a moment of clarity in your life that brought you to a place of radical trust, even if the future remained highly uncertain? Take a few moments to return to that place and savor those graces.
• What 'sword' might you be invited to lay down at this stage of your life so that you can love more freely?
• As you reflect on Ignatius laying down his sword and putting on a pilgrim's cloak, what might you be invited to 'put on' in your own life?